Friday, January 25, 2013

Crying it Out.

What is with all the anti cry it out stuff that is going around?
Am I wrong or is this a new? It is possible that there has always been a controversy around this topic but I sure didn't notice it before maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago. Is it because I notice things about children and parenting more now that I have children? Who knows. All I know is I don't understand this. Especially when they get so intense. If you want to let your kid cry it out- by all means. If you don't want them to, then rock them to sleep every night, or try a different method of sleep training. (there has got to be more than one right?)
I personally found crying it out to be seriously effective with Mikey and fully plan on doing it again with Adam and all the other Logan children that will follow. Maybe that makes me a bad mom, who knows. I imagine that there are other things that I do that would push me into the bad parenting end of the spectrum- not intentionally of course. But whether I teach my kid to sleep by letting him cry or some other way, there should be no doubt in anyone's mind that I love my child. I don't let Mikey cry because I am an evil vindictive woman that gets her kicks from others sufferings. Nope, that's not it at all. I let Mikey cry because I want my son to be able to sleep by himself. I want my child to learn how to self soothe. I want my child to be independent and I just happen to think that crying is one way for them to learn it. ( I know that studies say that this actually leads to greater dependence and whiny and depressed kids but I think that has as much to do with personalities as learned behavior- but that is just Life According to Meredith- no fancy smancy studies prove my beliefs, not even things I have learned from parenting, just what I have heard from other parents that I happen to think are pretty great at it)
I have read a bunch of the studies because I was taught to learn as much as possible on both sides before I make up my mind- here's looking at you Pops, and I am unconvinced in either direction.  Maybe when my kids grow up there will be proof that letting babies cry it out is cruel and neglectful and causes all kinds of terrible side effects like lack of trust and depression and they won't do it anymore.But my parents did it, my grandparents did it (at least my dad's parents, not sure about my mom's) and my siblings do it too. And me, my siblings and my aunts and uncles are pretty great I think. I think Mikey trusts me and he certainly doesn't seem depressed. I think that I showed Mikey that I loved him and cared about him and he learned to trust me and knew that his needs were met before I ever let him cry it out. Also, I trust my dad, I trusted my mom. 
Just something I have been thinking about ya know? And since I spend all my time with a 17 month old and a 3 week old, this is my outlet. Turns out Mikey and Adam don't care about what I have read on crying it out. Strange huh?
Also, one last point- when I have cried myself to sleep, those were some of the best sleeps I have ever had. ;)

1 comment:

  1. Oh I completely agree! Seth really needed to cry it out and he was sooo much happier when he did than when I would hold him while we slept and I actually got some things done and was a little more sane for it. I've looked at studies that say letting them cry it out helps them from developing insomnia later in life. That being said, I have studied spanking which is what all my elders say to use and it seems pretty detrimental to their learning and attachment, so we don't do it.